Thursday’s are my favorite days. On Monday’s and Tuesday’s, I cram all my office hours into two very long days that start at 6:00am with way too many conversations that should not be allowed before I finish my first cup of coffee. Before I even leave for work, there has been an emergency – a uniform that is still wet and needed, of course, today, an assignment that was forgotten, an email that needs to be written to a teacher, and sometimes a missed school bus. Those days are a frenzy of too much happening, too early, too rushed, and too late. Wednesday’s are a catch-up from those days. It is the day all the conversations I missed happen, a day for returning calls and picking up things at the grocery store.
On Thursday’s, I breathe. I walk the dogs. My kids and I catch up on laundry while we watch “The Amazing Race”. We root for the kindest person because in this family we value that quality above all others. Sometimes we start a puzzle, one with no more than 500 pieces; otherwise, we are unkind to each other. My son stands distractedly, finding matching pieces in a flash, reaching over and under us, making us groan. My daughter sits attentively with a section she is determined to complete before standing up. I adore him – impulsive, tender, and hilarious. I adore her- determined, fierce, and competitive. I like Thursday’s, and today I have been wishing that Mother’s Day was just a regular Thursday. Thursday’s are simple. Mother’s Day is not.
Anyone who knows me knows that I enjoy being a mom. I don’t wait until my kids are acting “just right” to enjoy them; I just enjoy them. It is a privilege that I don’t take lightly. But here’s the thing – Mother’s Day is just complicated.
For all of you who are celebrating one mom while longing for another, and holding that space uncomfortably, you are my hero. I hope people around you can sit with you in that uncomfortable place. For all of you who have lost your moms, my heart grieves for you. For all of you who were full of hope for what motherhood would deliver and have found it full of hardship and grief, my heart is with you. For my kids, I hope you know that you get to feel however you want on Mother’s Day. I will sit with you in that space as long as you need. For all of you who wish that today was just a regular Thursday, I am with you on that, too!