“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” Albert Einstein
My husband repairs airplanes and really is brilliant at fixing things. If I spent 8 hours a day in the hanger expected to learn to fix airplanes, I have no doubt in my mind that I would feel stupid before long. I would feel clumsy and awkward. I would compare myself to people like my husband who seem to know what is wrong with something just by listening to the engine from across the room. I would think there must be something wrong with my ears, my hands, and my brain because this fixing planes business is just so hard for me. Many children start feeling inadequate and stupid in school because they learn differently than other children.
My children are feeling the pressure of TCAP tests that are coming up soon. They have been well indoctrinated by their teachers that there is nothing in life more important than good scores on TCAP. One of my kids was told, “Before the middle school knows anything about you, they will have your TCAP scores. Your TCAP scores are your first impression for the middle school. They won’t know what you look like and they won’t know your name, but they will know what your TCAP scores are.” It is no wonder that performance anxiety is becoming a huge problem in America with more children in elementary school taking psychotropic drugs for anxiety than ever before.
I think every child needs to hear the following: “You are so much more than a number on a page. This test says something about you, but it is only a very little part of who you are. It doesn’t show how much you love to learn and explore. It doesn’t show what a great leader you are. It doesn’t show how much you know about things you are interested in. It doesn’t show how quickly you make friends or what a loyal friend you are. It doesn’t reflect the joy you bring into a room when you walk into it. It doesn’t show or predict your ability to be hugely successful in life. It is not important. IT IS NOT IMPORTANT. You are so much more than the sum of your parts.”
Every child is gifted in some way. The problem is that when you decide to judge every child by his/her ability to climb a tree when some children are fish, then that child will always feel stupid. Some of the most creative, accomplished people in history struggled with learning in a traditional setting. Today they would have been labeled as ADHD, on the spectrum, learning disabled, dyslexic, etc. George Washington could hardly spell and was thought to have dyslexia. Albert Einstein was thought to be mentally retarded by his own parents. Thomas Edison was taken out of school by his parents and homeschooled because he had what today would have been described as ADHD.
On our way home from church one day, my husband said, “You have to come and watch Jonny* teach Sunday school with me. He is amazing.” Now if you knew my husband, you would know he doesn’t express very much excitement, and where I use words like “amazing” and “fantastic”, he uses words like “ok” or “all right”. I was intrigued and went to watch him the following Sunday. My little guy, who struggles following the rules in his own Sunday school class, was truly amazing. He anticipated the children’s needs and met them consistently. He was fair and paid attention to all the kids, focusing on the ones that were acting out the most. He was patient, helpful, and gentle. He was in every sense of the word “the perfect Sunday school helper”. I was so very proud of him. He has told me for a while now that he wants to be a teacher when he grows up. I tell him he is going to be an amazing teacher because he knows how hard it is to learn, and he loves learning anyway.
We need to find bodies of water for our fish. We need to find deep pools, clear streams, and wide oceans. They need to have places where their gifts shine out and are exposed to all. If your child loves to fix things, then buy her tools and old appliances at goodwill for her to repair. If your child is great with younger kids, then volunteer to teach a Sunday school class with him as your helper. If your child loves animals, then let her take part in training a service dog or volunteering for the humane society. Just imagine being a child who struggles to learn and/or gets in trouble frequently at school. If we don’t give these fragile children a place where they can show off their skills and find purpose, then they will despair. They will lose their motivation. I have parents telling me all the time, “He just doesn’t care. Nothing motivates him.” I believe those children have just been at the bottom of the tree for too long, flopping around wondering what is wrong with them. They seem like they don’t care because they know they can’t climb that stinking tree. Find a deep, clear pool for that child, and you will see the life spark back into their day. You will see an awakening in motivation.
*names are changed for privacy issues
